my girl

warsanshire:

The neighborhood boys have grown taller

than their absent fathers.

My girl use to be one of the boys,

throat a gun tossed in to a river

fist fight for a mouth

bag of ice for a father.

Then her body grew soft where she did not want it soft

grew full, grew heavy, grew ripe

if the boys see then the boys will become hungry.

My girl avoids mirrors

binds her breasts like a secret

buries the dead in between her legs

every month bleeds like she is a wound

calls out the names of the dead like lottery numbers

and all the names sound like her own.

My girl picks her father from a list of fatherless rappers,

measures her thighs in her bedroom

is on a diet, forever

is a red balloon stolen from a party

deflating in a corner.

Her first kiss, a boy who does not like girls

unless they are face down on a mattress. 

My girl has a blank cd for a father,

the back seat of car for a mother.

Once in a basement when the music was on

and she thought no one was looking

and she could not help herself

and the body wanted to move

and the body it did move

and the body became almost sound,

she was wet from the bass in her stomach.

Everyone wanted to be like her,

that splinter in the oversized shirt.

My girl is the knife in the family portrait

the miscarriage at the sleepover

pink bubblegum expanding from a whores lips

riding the carousel with a nose bleed

glitter in a coffin

confetti in the barrel of a gun,

Is fun.

My girl is holy, is sacred, is pure

is clean, is loved, is whole, is beautiful

is worthy, is okay, is alone, is just fine

just the way you are girl

just the way you look babe

with that dirty mouth

and those hands, wherever they have been

and that sadness, whatever caused it

and that anger, wherever it came from

and that fear, who ever brought it

you are my girl, girl, you are me.

for women who are difficult to love.

warsanshire:

you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial 
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who 
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel 
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.

– Warsan Shire